An immodest proposal

Even the casual observer of the world of swimming must not be unaware of the efflorescence of World Records in the last several years. No no, not because of the big bad Steroid for once, it is rather due to the new fandangled swimsuit. Just about every new record has been set with the swimmer draped head to toe in the latest model.

If one plots the improvement of records over time a relatively smooth curve results, until we reach this “Age of the Swimsuit”. Clearly the swimmers have not improved that much; often they are the same ones as before, except now they are aided by the newest technological marvel.

Call me naïve, but I thought that the idea was, as much as possible, to compare the swimmers’ ability, not those of the manufacturers.
In the past, the purpose of swimsuits was to cover the private parts of the swimmers, not to aid them in their efforts.

In the spirit of the ancient Greek Olympics, I propose that the athletes, at least the swimmers, compete naked. The Ancient Greeks did so. This is not as outlandish as it sounds—some athletes have already exhibited their bodies thus outside the pool (like Amanda Beard, for instance), and I doubt the rest would be very much be bothered by the extra promotion. Nor do I suggest this from prurience. If needed, the water could be made opaque, or alternately the spectators could be made to wear opaque eyeglasses. But at least we could see (sorry) who is the best swimmer shorn of the swimsuits, and if the manufacturers would like to, they could have a race for their suits alone. I wouldn’t be surprised if some could set new records.